Please help. My brother tried to kill himself.

[SilverWitch613]

My brother is depressed because he found out that he was sterile & couldn't have kids but, about a month ago he found out that his wife was pregnant. So when it happened he thought it was a miracle but, he just found out 2 days ago that the baby wasn't his, it was his best friend's baby. I know, crazy like a soap opera or something. He said he was going to shoot himself because him & his wife tried for 5 years to have a baby & shortly after he finally thought he was going to be a daddy he found this out. So I rushed over to his house & he had a gun laying next to him on the floor. He had bullets coming out of his mouth like he was trying to swallow them or something. I took the gun away but, I think he really did swalllow some bullets because I had to do mouth-to-mouth on him a few times since he was not breathing at all. I almost lost him a few times tonight. I just need some positive energy sent my way. He is very bad off & I am scared to death that he may do something stupid. I am back at home now & I managed to get him to go to sleep before I left but, I took his weapon home with me because I didn't want to risk him taking his life if he woke up a few hours later after I was gone. He needs help from a therapist but, he is the stubborn type that will not go seek help. Does anyone know of a way to deal with stubborn people like this? I really want him to get better. I love him as we are very close, which is why he called me earlier instead of someone else. Our sister has never been there for either one of us. Him & his wife have been together for 6 years & just got married in March of 2011. I just need advice guys. Thanks in advance for all of you that help me.

[Finduilas]

If his need for help is this serious and he won't go, then you may not have a choice but to make him.  Find a therapist that will work with you and make a genuine effort to contact your brother, and try to (as awful as it sounds) trick him into going or see if you can get the therapist to come to him.  It's an ugly alternative and I don't like it, but clearly his problem is very serious and he really needs help.  In the meantime, keep and eye on him and try to get him to talk it out with you as much as possible.  It may help ease some of the stress and hopelessness.  But, I am no psychologist.  The most important thing is to get him help, and fast.

But above all, you must remember that his inner demons are not yours.  This is a very negative situation.  As hard as it is, try your best to remain positive and supportive, and don't let his problems destroy you.  Sympathy and empathy are both fine, but if it gets to the point where his depression is making you significantly depressed, then it may be time to pass the torch to someone else.  Good luck, dear.  Positive energies flowing your way.  I really hope this works out for you.

[Phoenix82]

Hello SilverWitch,
I'm sorry about all heartbreak you and your brother are going through right now. Something very similar that happened to your brother happened to me too about 11 years ago, back then I was devastated and I was also on the brink of comitting suizide. Even now, this is not an easy topic for me to talk about. Most of my family doesn't even know about all of this.
First off, your brother is very lucky to have a sister (I hope I'm correct on your gender, forgive me if I'm not) like you that he obviously trust and that takes such loving care of her brother.

Please, this is very important. In case something happens again and he's uncontious or you think he might have taken some meds or something, do not hesitate to call the doctor or ambulance! They would likely put him on suizide watch and give him Counsel or Therapy.

I don't really have any good advise on how to get him to go see an therapist, maybe a intervention would help?

As time passes, his wounds should slowly heal, at least somewhat. However scars will most likely remain. The best you can do (on your part) is beeing there for him and love and support him any way you can. It is very likely that you are the only person right now that he trusts, at all. I wish back then I would have had someone like you, it would have made things a lot easier.

I suppose you could also do a ritual for him to help him to bring back his emotional balance, calming teas are a good thing too.

I hope this helps you at least somewhat. If you need any advise or anything, you can also PM me.

My heart goes out to you and your brother.
Blessings
Phoenix

[LupusStormDancer]

I have had a family member who was also my best friend take her life there were signs that she was depressed, but I never knew it was that bad. In cases like this when it's so extreme you need to force him to get help. Even if that means calling the cops and telling them he tried to commit suicide and telling them he needs help and you're afraid he will try it again. The most you can do sometimes is just be there for him, be his shoulder to cry on. He might just need someone to talk to try talking some of it out with him if you can avoid having him sent to a mental hospital that would be better really. Sometimes that kind of enviornment can make problems worse. There are pros and cons to geting him help if you send him to a therapist they might suggest sending him to a mental hospital to put him on watch. It all depends on how bad it is and what your willing to risk.

                                                                                             -LupusStormDancer

[Ken Ra]

He IS asking for help. If it is more than you have to give, bring help in from wherever you can.  Threats of suicide with a means at hand are enough to compel the police. If you can get him into an environment where he does not have to face things immediately, ie. away from his wife and home DO SO.    As much as you can distract him from his problems, they are insolvable now but won't be so later.

[FireSong]

You didn't call paramedics? 

[Seeking Answers]

In an emergency situation, (should he make another attempt or even serious threat) calling 911 or taking him to the nearest ER is always a good idea.  Depending on the rules of your state, they may commit him to a mental facility but usually it's only mandatory for 48 to 72 hours.  After that, he can leave should he wish.   I would not worry about him being angry with you about it because that's better than him ending up dead.  If he's that serious about suicide, then being committed for a short amount of time and being forced to receive help might be the best thing for him.

However, outside of an emergency situation, I would sit down with him and have a heart to heart discussion.  Try to talk him into going to a therapy appointment willingly and let him know that if he doesn't you won't hesitate to do whatever is necessary (including calling 911) should another emergency situation present itself in the future.  Give him these suicide hotline numbers and show him these websites.  If there are any local resources you can find, take advantage of those. 

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://www.save.org/ 
http://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewPage&page_id=705E1907-C4DD-5D32-2C7087CE5924CCA4

I hope this helps.  I have a Bachelors Degree in Psychology and if I were in your situation these are things I would be considering.

[Ken Ra]

If he does end up in a psych ward, do not abandon him there !  Visit Visit Visit !!!

[Ann Cash]

Anytime you have to perform "mouth-to-mouth" (CPR) on someone, it's time to call 911. If you want to help your brother, next time, start with that. Removing weapons is a good thing. Keep them away from him until he's no longer in danger of harming himself. That could be a long time. There's no fix-it cure for the problems in his life, so you can expect his road to be long and hard until he gets some help to deal with them. If he remains depressed/suicidal, and refuses to get help for himself, then you may need to act for him. If he is making suicidal statements, or showing other signs of not caring for himself (not eating, sleeping, drinking too much, acting out in ways that could be harmful to him or others, not taking prescribed medications, etc), then you should either consult with his regular doctor if he has one, or call for law enforcement assistance. They can assess his frame of mind, to determine if he is a threat to himself or anyone else (anyone who is suicidal is also homicidal. sorry, but that's a fact). If they believe he needs help, they can insure that he gets the help he needs. As someone else mentioned, he can be involuntarily committed to a hospital for up to 72 hours for a mental evaluation. It can be longer if the doctor decides it's necessary. If he is released within that 72 hours, it will be with a plan of action...medication, appointments for therapy, or whatever the doctor feels he needs. Good luck.
BB  Ann

[ThunderWolf]

I don't have much of my own advice to add. I would like to interject, though, that Ann is law enforcement and knows what she's talking about. Take her seriously!