I feel soo guilty

Kaleesie

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I feel soo guilty

« on: January 24, 2012, 08:16:35 AM »

A few days ago, I posted something I will forever regret, and now I blame myself.
It was in the random question game thread :

Q: Brother, Sister, Mother, Father. One living member has to die to save the others. You choose which one. Why did you choose who you did?

BB Sprite

Quote from: Kaleesie on January 16, 2012, 08:02:37 PM

I absolutely HATE to admit this, but my youngest brother. I don't want to play Goddess/God, but I believe this man is a sociopath and he has hinted to me that I need "deniability" when I asked him a question on someone (whom I don't know, he never said a name, never went into any detail) he was talking about randomly would no longer be a "problem".. And he smirked at me, and for a brief second I felt a sense of horrible pain and anguish. I truly am afraid of my brother. Something is missing inside of him. He kills animals for fun. He has a very quick temper. And he can be very cunning. So many things ,all extremely worrisome. I have mentioned this to people who could help.. But no one believes me.

I am sorry Christopher. I love you. I'm going to miss you.

This morning, my other brother, step mom and father found my youngest brother face down on the floor, deceased. I can't shake the feeling that it was somehow my fault. Please light a candle for my family.


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Shadow Exrila

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2012, 08:40:38 AM »

I say things that I regret. I will light a candle for you. I'm sorry.


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Phoenix82

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2012, 08:41:20 AM »

I am very sorry for your loss, but please don't torture yourself of taking the blame for his death.
Blessings
Phoenix


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FireSong

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2012, 08:49:57 AM »

First of all, I am sorry for the pain you're experiencing. Even though your brother might have been a terrible person, he was still your loved one.

Fact of the matter is, however, a post in a forum is not going to cause someone's death. You answered a hypothetical. There is no reason for you to blame yourself as it is in no way your fault. It was simply his time to leave this world, and that has nothing to do with you saying what you did.

I sincerely hope you can find peace, and that your brother does too. Your family is in my thoughts.


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Ruby07

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2012, 08:51:19 AM »

I am so sorry for your loss. <3 Blessings. Candle will be lit.


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LupusStormDancer

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2012, 09:36:36 AM »

Not much can be said and it is far from your fault Sad

People often say things in haste out of anger or frustration and don't really mean it. I will light a candel for you Many blessings to you.

@ FireSong I couldn't disagree more about your comment on how a post wouldn't cause someones death, indirectly it could. In the case of being bullied and such that is, but non the less it happens all the time sadly.


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darkestday95

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2012, 10:10:40 AM »

This really isn't either of your faults for saying these things...I mean, there's really no such thing as a coincidence, but you have to look at the little details that create the big picture. Maybe it was meant to be, and Kaleesie, maybe you somehow knew it subconsciously. All I have to say is that I'm sorry for your loss, honestly and truly.


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Kaleesie

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #7 on: January 24, 2012, 10:29:10 AM »

Thank ALL of you for your kind words. thank you for the candles.

My heart says I didn't do this, but my head can't stop thinking that I somehow subconsciously had something to do with it.

Last month he was in the hospital, as a 1 last hurrah with drugs. The doctor said he had dodged a bullet. ...we are waiting for the autopsy to see if this had anything to do with drugs, or if he was just so overweight that his heart failed.
He leaves behind his mom, our dad, 3 sisters and his brother. And 5 nephews and 1 niece.

Blessings
Kaleesie


« Last Edit: January 24, 2012, 10:46:54 AM by Kaleesie »	Logged

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EveyEden

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2012, 10:45:28 AM »

Kaleesie,

I am so sorry for your loss but it certainly isn't your fault. I could only echo what others have said but do look at the surrounding issues of his death and don't blame yourself. It wasn't your post that killed him, not even by a long shot. I'm sorry my dear. *huggles*


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LadyStitches

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2012, 10:46:32 AM »

Kaleesie,
I am so sorry for your loss. I don't think there's anything I could say to bring you comfort. I hope that as time passes you can find peace with yourself. It sounds to me like it was most likely the result of his own actions, and had nothing to do with your posting. As another poster said, it may have just been a sign of what was to come.

(((HUGS)))


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FireSong

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2012, 12:29:18 PM »

Quote from: LupusStormDancer on January 24, 2012, 09:36:36 AM

@ FireSong I couldn't disagree more about your comment on how a post wouldn't cause someones death, indirectly it could. In the case of being bullied and such that is, but non the less it happens all the time sadly.

Her brother did not read her post and then commit suicide. He was ill. Your argument is irrelevant in this particular situation, and starting a conversation about semantics while attempting to console someone who has lost a loved one is disrespectful.


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Cleaner

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2012, 12:57:15 PM »

First off my condolences to you and yours Kaleesie.

Secondly as far as this being the result of a post here, it is highly unlikely. What seems more likely is a subconscious premonition. Sometimes our subconscious mind picks up on subtle clues that our conscious mind completely over looks. Some see these events in a dream state as an example. Your emotions may have caused this to surface in the form of a post without you realizing that it was to be a future event such as premonitions' are sometimes described. Although this is a tragic time in your life you are not to blame in my opinion. Don't beat yourself up over something that you had no control over.

B.B.)O(
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Ken Ra

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2012, 01:44:29 PM »

It hurts.
It should not have happened, but it did.
Blaming someone, anyone would help.
So you blame yourself.
You are guilty of playing a game and saying something without thinking it through.
You ARE not guilty of KILLING him.
He is no longer in pain and you have enough let this go..

May Hecate bring comfort to you.


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RhiHu

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2012, 02:43:22 PM »

I'm so sorry for you loss Sad

I agree with Cleaner. Sometimes we will say things fippantly or in jest only to find that we were picking up something that was already psychic fact waiting to happen. It doesn't make it easier to deal with though. *hugs*


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Suzie Q

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Re: I feel soo guilty

« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2012, 02:56:27 PM »

Kaleesie, I am so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort that he is at peace. I agree with Cleaner in so far as I feel you had a precog. of the event to come, that is why you were initially so upset. Did it have any impact on him - my opinion says no, he was due to leave at the very moment he left. A blessing in disguise for a troubled soul, but he will be at peace now, with family and loved ones.


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