I feel soo guilty

[Suzie Q]

((Hugs)) Kaleesie, it must be all done and dusted now.  We will send you some blessings and hope that you find the peace knowing there was nothing you could have done.  He at last has peace and he will know as well from the otherside of the veil how you feel, and will by now feel sorry that he didn't seek help.  However that being said, he will also know the journey in this life ended on the very day it was supposed to end, and he will have done a review by now and now be up for some rest before  taking on another life journey.  You will see him again, under different circumstances and you will laugh and hug and be at peace.  So walk forward with your head held high.

[Kaleesie]

Susie Q, your kind words, along with ALL the others on my forum family.. Have held me up.
I'm back at my home now. When I was up there, in Dallas, I had to sleep in his room, where he died. Everyone else just couldn't. This gave me time to cleanse the area, talk with him (he was there, I felt him) and I asked for him to forgive my words. This was on the first night.

At first, I couldn't even go in the room. I just stood in his doorway.... Feeling him. Smelling the scent of his body. It was so hard..

Since no one wanted to go in there,that night, when everyone fell asleep, I asked Hecate to help him get beyond the veil, and did my ritual.

At the funeral Night Willow and I felt him again, the light was shaking.....in her sweet quirky way, Night Willow asked him to leave.. And the light stopped shaking.

I haven't felt him since...
I miss him, and this will probably be a touchy subject for me for quite a while... But I think I will eventually be able to make peace with myself.

Blessed Be
Kaleesie

[TheMagickSprite]

I'm so sorry for asking that question Kaleesie.  So very sorry.    It's been bothering me, to say the least.

Only good can come of such a thing as you.  Bear this with strength, if you need more, you have mine.

BB Sprite

[Kaleesie]

Mr. Sprite, please don't feel bad. How where you to know that it would be me to answer, and the events to follow? I believe nothing is a coincidence.
That question has made me think about all the words I type, or that come out of my mouth very carefully.  (normally I speak my mind too often, not worrying about backlash.) a "who cares what you think of me" attitude. I still have it, but I've been trying to tone it down, dial it back, so to speak.

Needless to say, that's the lesson I have learned from this. So don't be upset, please. I thank you, and the rest of this family for sympathies.
Something else good came out of all of this too. My family ( who usually called once every  4-6 months,) now calls me every couple days. We are all closer. I got a movie out of his room while there..(one of his and my favorites) and opened it up. A picture of him was inside the DVD box. I cried and laughed at the same time.
Yes, I miss him. I cry a lot. I often wonder what happens to people like him once they are beyond the veil.... But I still miss him.
All I want for him now is to rest...

Blessings, love, and light
Kaleesie

Ps, I might take you up on that strength part.