This is crazy

[Gaiano]

Okay. One of closest friends has had an incredibly screwed up life. It was filled with stories of physical (including sexual) and mental abuse by his parents and several foster parents. Unfortunately this has all shaped him into a near psychopath. He extremely intelligent and egotistical. He's always had a disgusting since of humor, which is usually making a person extremely uncomfortable just too see and get off on their reaction. He's obviously an attention whore. But now he's done something I'm not sure if I understand. He wrote a narrative for his English class, the story was about a supposed dream in which he killed all of his friends, classmates, his current foster parents, and the English teacher. The teachers immediately freaked out and he got suspended or possibly expelled, I haven't found out his punishment yet. I simply can't be sure if this was just another attempt to get attention by horrifying someone or if he seriously thinks about killing people in the detail he expressed. What are your opinions on this?

Also I think he could use some praying (no matter the faith), I know none of you know him but he really needs help.     

[xXuglywolfXx]

Voicing out his thoughts is definately a cry, whether it's a cry to help or attention is something I can't be too sure of. However, it shouldn't just be ignored. If he's been abused, there are probably many emotions and thoughts he's never processed healthyly.

The fact that he openly revealed his thoughts, even if he has no real intent of acting them out, usually means he needs help. Since you're his friend, let him know that you're there for him. Maybe venting will help, but in no way make him feel threatened or cornered. His mind appears a bit warped; you should chose your words and actions carefully. And, I personally would advice you speak to his foster parents and urge them to get him the help he needs, unless they too are abusing him. Worst comes to worst, contact a social worker. I know you don't want to throw your friend back into the system, but if he's still be abused, and he has shared these twisted thoughts, he may be very close to his breaking point if he hasn't reached it already. Keep an eye on him, and if you think he is a danger to himself, or anyone else, contact who you must, even the police.
He needs help, not jail or something worst. Be a supportive friend, and look out for him. I hope this helps, but remember this is just my opinion and how I would handle the situation.
Good luck hun...I hope your friend will be okay.

[FireSong]

Obviously, he needs intensive therapy.  I hope, instead of simply punishing him, that the school system and his foster parents can work together to help this boy.  I will be praying for him.

[Ken Ra]

Helping him is a noble sentiment and I am for it, just don't let him kill you etc.  This IS dangerous territory.

[Gaiano]

@FireSong- he's had intensive therapy since he first attempted suicide (When he was about ten or eleven). Unfortunately, his lack of getting better leads me to loose a lot of faith in psychiatry and mental therapy. Thank you for praying,  

@Ken Ra- I really hope he never becomes something like that. To see someone I've known for years turn into a robotic killer would be horrifying.

@xXuglywolfXx- I've already looked into his current foster parents. The dad's a right wing drunk and the mom is a gambler, but I don't think there's any abuse. The abuses have all been sorted out through numerous court cases (Somehow his sick birth mother got custody of his little brother though), but the mental scars never heal. Currently I don't see him as a threat to anyone, but I just can't be sure anymore. The English teacher is probably going to be on edge and request the kid get expelled. And it does help, thank you

 

[xXuglywolfXx]

I had an idea...buy him a punching bag, whether it's one that can hang from the ceiling or the one that just sticks to the wall. It may sound silly, but through middle school and high school, I wasn't as level headed as I am now; my home life sucked, I didn't have a whole lot of friends, and I was just, in general, angry. Yeah, I got bruised and bloodied knuckles, but venting out that anger on a bag stopped me from getting into fights at school.
If you don't think a doctor can help him, try and help him find a physical way to let out his emotions. And try to do it with him, if he shows he wants you to. You'll give him the support he obviously needs, and he'll have an outlet that won't harm anyone. Try a regular exercising schedule, the punching bag, or even a karate class. Sometimes just being the crap outta somethings helps.

[Ann Cash]

Your friend is DEEPLY disturbed. If he is having thoughts of such a violent nature that it's getting him kicked out of school, he's a threat. You need to understand that. How many times do we see on the news, where someone has killed his family, or walked into school, or a burger joint, and opened fire on everyone there? After it's all over, people say "he was a quiet guy. He seemed like a good neighbor. I never saw any signs of a problem". No one seems to learn from these things, to identify the signs of a disturbed mind. Do you recall the killings at Virginia Tech? He gave off some of the same signs your friend is displaying now. He had teachers that were genuinely afraid of him, but no one took any steps to do anything about it until it was too late.

I sincerely hope the school does more than suspend him. That isn't what he needs. He needs help. If he's been getting help for a long time, and he's still behaving in this way, he might just be beyond help. It may be a situation in which institutionalization is the only answer until he can reenter normal society. I know that sounds harsh, but I've seen too many of these scenarios go bad because people didn't recognize obvious signs of distress. They either didn't understand what they were observing, or they minimized the harm that could come. Your friend is a real threat to himself and everyone around him. To ignore that, or to go by the misguided belief that "he doesn't really mean it", will only get someone hurt...or worse.

You said your friend has already attempted suicide at least once before. If that is true, then he is predisposed to that kind of thinking. Those thoughts don't disappear. In a person who has suicidal tendencies, the urges will tend to surface at times of extreme stress in their lives. It may be many years before he gets a grip on them, if he ever does. Also, and this is very important to you, a person who is suicidal, is also homicidal. If they truly want to die, they will kill you (or whoever is in their way) in order to accomplish their goal. You have to understand that your friend is in a very unhealthy place, mentally and emotionally. He doesn't think like you do, so you can't rationalize with him the same way you would with someone who is of a normal frame of mind. He is not going to tell you everything that's going on inside his head, because he knows it might lead to his being admitted to a mental facility for an evaluation, against his will. Most people in deep distress don't realize that they need help. They will resist every effort to get them help, so don't believe him when he tells you that he was just screwing around. If he had enough drive to put those thoughts into an essay, he's dangerous.

It's admirable of you to stand by your friend, and to want to help him. But you have to watch out for yourself as well. You can be his friend, and still take steps to protect yourself. Knowledge is power. If you learn to recognize the signs of his illness, you'll be able to do something, even if it's just to let someone know so they can intervene before it's too late.

I'll keep you and your friend in my prayers. It sounds like he could use all the healing energy we can send him.
BB  Ann
 

[Gaiano]

Unfortunately I have no idea where he is right now and he won't tell me whats going to happen to him. He just told me not to make it look like he's a homicidal maniac at school. From what I've heard from him he doesn't seem like he's had some sort of psychotic break down, but I can never be sure with the kid.

@Ann Cash- he's attempted suicide more than once, he's attempted it like six times. Most of the attempts seemed to me as cries for attention though, considering he once he had a shot gun to his head when coincidentally one of his other friends was there. Another time he tried choking himself during a school dance, while my twin bother just happened to be in there also. Although I know he is suicidal, most of it still seems for attention and not psychopathia. But I don't study mental illnesses so I don't know....   

[Theflyingsorcerer]

Gaiano, I agree with Ann Cash here - your friend would seem to have serious problems. From what you describe he is showing many of the signs of a psychopathic personality, and this is one condition that does not respond well to any of the conventional therapies. There are drug treatments available - but the problem with drugs is he has to take them; and many with psychopathic conditions do not believe they have a problem, and often flatly refuse the treatment.

Whatever, he needs professional help. There are various psychological tests available that indicate whether someone has psychopathic tendencies; one is available online at
  http://arkancide.com/psychopathy.htm
(This is part of a website with a heavily right-wing political agenda, but the test itself seems to be valid).

Some of the characteristics listed include; early behavioral problems such as bullying, alcohol abuse, running away from home; superficial charm; impulsivity, manipulativeness, deceit, lack of remorse, irritability, impatience, promiscuous sexual behavior, and many others. It might be a good idea for you to check out this test, and try to see how many of the listed characteristics your friend has. Then at least you might be able to help direct him towards the professional help that he needs.

But, as always, your first responsibility is to yourself; don't put yourself in danger. Ann Cash's advice is the wise voice of experience.

I hope you can find some way to resolve this situation; I know how you must feel.

Theflyingsorcerer.

[ferox1012]

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen[smile].

TheFlyingSorcerer,............ :67:I took that test that you presented...and got an eleven.

[ThunderWolf]

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen[smile].

TheFlyingSorcerer,............ :67:I took that test that you presented...and got an eleven.

That's not so bad. I got a 10. When I took it with my brother in mind, though, it was an 18. LOL

[ferox1012]

Good evening[smile].
Yes?
Well, I did it again thinking of my dad, and, oh good lord.....
I wonder were the scale of normalcy/dangerous insanity is for it so we can grade ourselves.
I mean, for all we know, we're hitting below average . I noticed that there wasn't anything there about religion or hallucinations.

[Ann Cash]

Let me just add that attempting suicide "for attention" is a old wives tail. People don't do it for attention. They do what we call "dry runs" sometimes, as a call for help. This sounds like what your friend has done in the past. That doesn't mean he won't make a real attempt, and succeed, someday. Right now, it's a safety switch for him. In his mind, if things ever get bad enough, he can just kill himself. He just hasn't reached that point yet. I hope he never does, but you really don't know what triggers a person's impulses. A person who is at a place where they are truly suicidal, doesn't give off many signs. They certainly don't give obvious signs, because they don't want to be stopped. They will often seem better than they've been in awhile. They will be calm, and act like everything is ok. They will often get their personal business in order (pay bills, clean their house/apartment/room, make contact with friends they haven't seen in awhile, apologize to those they believe they've hurt in the past, etc. They won't make a fuss about doing these things. When they attempt suicide, they are usually successful, and they almost always do it when they are alone. They will sometimes leave a note, but more often they don't. If your friend is displaying signs that you recognize as desperate, or a threat to his own life, then he probably isn't ready to off himself. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be concerned though. Anyone who has any sort of preoccupation with death is not healthy. Like I said, he just isn't ready...yet...but he's building up his courage. It could take years, but the urges are still there. He needs help, and you need to be aware that anyone around him could be in danger if the circumstances become right.
Stay safe.
BB  Ann

[aranel]

Ann Cash Knows Her Stuff.

No details but have been still are familiar.

Stick with him, he needs a friend.

But take care of YOU first, you are not his therapist, nor his doctor.  You Are a Friend.

He trusts you, but make sure you enforce healthy boundaries with him.

Both will be kept in thoughts.

Good luck and peace out