Dreams of my brother...

[Kaleesie]

So, now the funeral is passed. My family is calling more (which is nice to hear from them, even if they seem to shove heaven and at least he was saved (he was atheist) down my throat)

I keep having these dreams. All of the events happen after his death. Either at the funeral site, or back at my step moms house. Sometimes my step mom is painting the house.. Which in the dream I get the sense that she's trying to get all memories of him out.
In another dream, I'm at the cemetery and I start laying on the pile of dirt crying...the whole family embarrassed about my behavior.
In one other dream, I tell my step mom, as I'm cleaning out his room, that I didn't believe in her god and she tries to kick me out, so I run and hide in the bathroom.
In one I took a picture of all of us kids off the wall (they had copies) and put it in my bag. My step mom got mad at me.
In another, same thing, but it was a teddy bear of his..in both those, she disowned me.

I can't sleep anymore, I'm afraid it will be about him, or the family's reaction...
I don't know what to do...
How do I get a "normal" night of sleep?

There are more, but these stick out more...

[Ken Ra]

I can't sleep anymore, I'm afraid it will be about him, or the family's reaction...
I don't know what to do...How do I get a "normal" night of sleep?

You have plenty of unresolved things about him and your family in you. These dreams are "normal"  they will go away in time usually two weeks to a month. Getting yourself plenty tired before bed will help. A dream-catcher spell might be a good idea too. Lack of sleep will drive you crazier than the dreams, trust me.

[elder]

Dear kaleesie
Im so sad to hear of your loss,if I may.crying in a dream is a healing iit releases pent up emotionregarding the dream matter
A deep loss can unbalance the basic thread of our health.you must take care of your self
I have been trying to unravel  some of your dream today and I agree you have issues that in time and time is a healer you can close but till then please eat well rest well
If im to familiar I do most sincerely  apologize

[xXuglywolfXx]

Ken Ra is right, these dreams are normal after what you've been through. It's a way of coping with your loss. I have dreams about family and friends that have been dead for years...they're just dreams; you're mind's way of coming to terms with what you've experienced.

However, if they persist to the point that it seriously prevents you from getting any sleep, don't ignore it. Either try different methods to cause sleep, or even speak with your doctor if you feel it will help.

Don't worry as much hun...it'll pass. Who knows, maybe there will be a very comforting dream that comes to visit on a regular basis and you'll get the best sleep ever.

[Kaleesie]

I went to doctor and he gave me something for sleep and anxiety. I'm not to drive if I combine the 2.
I asked my boyfriend if he would make an appt for a therapist because of a lot of other stuff, on top of my brothers sudden death came about within the last 2 weeks.

Long story, when things calm down I will let you know.

I'm still dreaming about Chris. still nightmares, only now, the meds wont let me wake up from them. kind of a catch 22 huh? I'm going to take 1/2 the sleep pill tonight and see if that will work.

thank you all for your concerns, and letting me vent...

Blessings
Kaleesie

[Ken Ra]

Melatonin is an over the counter vitamin supplement that has helped me. One tab is too much for me so I use a quarter.

[Kaleesie]

Ah, melatonin. Ken, I have to say that it's intension works well for most.
I have always had insomnia and had heard of this .. So I got some, took as directed. Nothing. Took another one. Still awake.
By the end of the experiment (so to speak) I had taken 10 within 12 hours.. Nothing. I was laying down staring at the ceiling.. My thoughts as crazy as I felt. Crying. ( this about 5 yrs ago) DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS, I WAS DELERIOUS. It had been 8 days with 2 hrs sleep then.

Doc says I have a high tolerance for meds.. Which just makes my intake cost more. Very frustrating.

I've got 7 hrs sleep in the last 4 days..
I feel like I'm crumbling apart. If I could just get some good rest I think I'd be ok.
Thank you, though, Ken. I've also tried valerian ( for a combo of diff ailments ) .

Blessings,
Kaleesie

[ThunderWolf]

Ah, melatonin. Ken, I have to say that it's intension works well for most.
I have always had insomnia and had heard of this .. So I got some, took as directed. Nothing. Took another one. Still awake.
By the end of the experiment (so to speak) I had taken 10 within 12 hours.. Nothing. I was laying down staring at the ceiling.. My thoughts as crazy as I felt. Crying. ( this about 5 yrs ago) DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS, I WAS DELERIOUS.

That's because melatonin is not an herbal or vitamin supplement. It is a neurotransmitter. When someone is said to be "unbalanced" it refers to the balance of chemicals in the brain being incorrect, or "unbalanced". The major brain chemicals to which this refers is a group called...You guessed it!...neurotransmitters! So what you were actually doing by taking such large doses of melatonin was in fact tampering with the balance of chemicals in your own brain.

At reasonably low doses it can cause sleepiness as this neurotransmitter is involved in the daily light cycles as well as the annual cycles of less daylight causing some animals to hibernate. What happens is that when there is less light the brain creates higher levels of melatonin. So taken as a supplement it can be of benefit to some people dealing with insomnia. However, it also deals with other areas besides sleep and at higher doses can do who knows what to a person.

[Kaleesie]

"unbalanced" lol.. Well, that could be that I have several mental illnesses.. (unbalanced head!) (no I'm not a bobble head)
This is probably why it didn't work. But after so many days of no sleep, your not thinking right. And I wasn't.

I have since learned my lesson. (when it comes to meds, that is) and listened to my doc when she said, if 3 don't work, why do you keep taking them? (referring to Tylenol) I had never thought of it like that. ..

The dreams still linger... Some days we will be driving and I doze off for a few minutes, only to wake up to a panic attack. (not fun)
The doc says she's doin everything she can. "you will either get some sleep, or have a mental break"
Geez, doc... Save the dramatics...but that was 2 days ago.. Eeesh. Tonight I'm going to do a ritual bath, just to feel better, and drink a glass of wine. (been not drinkin, cause of meds, but I'm not on those any more) so maybe wine might help.

Thank you all for your oncern, and knowledge.
Kaleesie