Getting rid of anger

[Kaleesie]

Merry meet, everyone.  As some of you know, I've been under a lot of stress. Others still might know that I'm trying to get my mental illness medication adjusted and corrected.
One of the symptoms of bipolar can be anger and it's something I deal with constantly. (even on this forum, I've got a warning in reference to a derogatory attack) 
I've also been diagnosed with PTSD, paranoia, and severe anxiety. Along with a list of phobias.
I have been trying to take my meds and meditate, and ground, center.. Focus my anger into an object and do a spell to rid myself of my temper... 
Sometimes it will shove me into a passive aggressive mode, and I enternalize everything. Then i feel after a while like Im going to burst, and my friends and loved ones get the fallout.
I have tried taking walks, exorcising, writing in diaries, .. I'm running out of ideas.

Help, please. If you can.. I'm open to suggestion.

Blessed Be
Kaleesie

[ThunderWolf]

I'm sorry I can't help out! That bipolar anger is something I still haven't managed to find an outlet for. I just consider myself fortunate that it's not something I often have to deal with.

[Kaleesie]

I hate it when I get like this, and thanks for trying. I've looked at online anger management, but my doc says that until I get my meds fixed, those things are kinda pointless.

 

[ThunderWolf]

Yea, I hate to say that he's probably right, but I've found my only recourse when feeling that way (and I hate it too) is to ride it out and just feel miserable. I wish there were something more helpful I could tell you.

[LupusStormDancer]

I have always had anger issues I've found a few outlets that have helped over the years. Lots of poetry and song writing, going for a run, playing violent video games oddly enough, and lots of drawing.

[ThunderWolf]

I did remember one thing that "helps" me when I'm feeling that bipolar anger. It doesn't lessen the anger any, but it does tend to protect relationships I have with others. I tend to avoid contact with those I'm close to. I figure I'm miserable whether I'm by myself or with others. At least this will mitigate any damage that could possibly be done by lashing out at others.

[Kaleesie]

Oh, TW, I have tried that! ( I have boundary issues, to add to it) but my bf wants to get up close and talk things out, when all I want to do is tell him where to stick it. He will go to touch my arm, and I aggressively step back telling him not to touch me. ..  He's a "let's talk it out " guy and I'm a " if you want to continue talking it out, more issues will be brought up," and at the end of the day, I don't even know what triggered the damn argument in the first place.
And boy does my family know my triggers.

Ugh, I guess I will have to walk it out, or cry it out, or go to a gym and use one of those punching bags...cause right now all I want to do is throw this glass at the tv.

[ferox1012]

Good evening lady and gentleman[smile].
I don't actually know what your kind of Bipolar anger is like compared to mine, so I don't know how much my suggestions will help, but I shall try in the name of friendship .
That "beat the crap out of a Punching Bag" idea sounds pretty good. Me, when I was going through all sorts of drama/frustration as a young man in grade school due to bullies and such, I vented through drawing monsters, or...taking a mechanical pencil[or pen with the point extracted in]and using it to "shoot" the little pictures of people in my text books by poking through/into their bodies with the hollow tip[makes a round indentation on the paper like a tiny bullet-hole, but doesn't actually break through and damage the pages, which would get you into trouble. For me it was better than bubble wrap! ]. These days, I get a favored machete and chop up some firewood, or get one or two of my guns and shoot at stuff, either home-made targets or something that'll explode[like rotten oranges/grapefruit or water bottles], or I watch favorite monster movies[I pretend to be the monsters]or loose myself in funny cartoon dvds[like The Simpsons, the original Looney Tunes, Family Guy, South Park, or Drawn Together]. OR, get with a friend, find something that you know you both agree you hate, and have fun together criticizing the heck out of that[The Kardashians, The Government/Congress, Fred Phelps's hate group/cult, Ken Ham's Young-Earth "Creation-Sciences", etc.]or you can both just watch a show or movie and act all "Mystery Science Theater 2000" all over it[grins].   

[Kaleesie]

Finding a friend could help, however, I have very few friends around the area. ( actually I made a acquaintance today that has potential) ( and she's Wiccan!) hmmm.
I talked to my doctor an hour ago and they perscribed  a mood stabilizer ( on top of everything else) (ugh) but it may help.(yay). I really scared myself earlier..
Maybe this will help.
But I am going to ask this aquaitence out when I feel better.. Maybe a Sons of Anarchy marathon..

Hold my breath, here I go!

Kaleesie

[ferox1012]

                                                                                  [...G    A    S    P!...]

[Suzie Q]

Kaleesie,
with all due respect girl you are asking us how you would solve or assist a medical condition with non-medical means.  Whilst I do not suffer from Bi-polar or any such medical condition, there are two people both In-laws who have this condition and a Medical Doctor friend of ours says that all the conditions you have mentioned are easily treated these days, and no-one need suffer at all from any of the symptoms described.  Your doctor needs to diagnose your particular level and treat you accordingly.  There are so many treatments out there now, your doctor might take a couple of tries to get the right treatment and the right dosage, but yes it is treatable and yes you will pretty 'normal' once the treatment kicks in correctly and is taken according to the correct dose, at the right time without gaps in treatment.  The biggest problem is most folk feel much better and go off treatment thinking they are all better thank you.  But Bi-polar treatment and everything related to that condition is a very long term treatment, no easy steps.  BUT if you can make yourself feel almost normal by taking your treatment at the correct dosage for however long it takes, why not?  Rather that than suffer what you suffer from.

If your doctor hasn't got you on the correct treatment ask for a second opinion!  Or change your doctor!

[malewitch42]

i am also bipolar and withou proper medication you are going to experience a lot of strong emotions and have trouble dealing with them for me when i get angry the best thing i can do is not fight the emotion ... if im depressed i try to let myself cry if im angry i vent or workout of hit the approriate items ie a punchingbag or sometimes even spar with a friend but that has to be a trained friend or its dangerous

[ThunderWolf]

Kaleesie,
with all due respect girl you are asking us how you would solve or assist a medical condition with non-medical means.

This is a very good point that I was attempting to make in a round about way. I've experienced the bipolar rage as I had mentioned, and it's not a psychological issue (though it does seem to manifest that way). It goes back to what I said elsewhere about imbalanced brain chemicals. That's a medical issue manifesting as what seems to be psychological. But the only real way to resolve it is to get the proper medical treatment for it and ride it out in the meanwhile.

 

a Medical Doctor friend of ours says that all the conditions you have mentioned are easily treated these days, and no-one need suffer at all from any of the symptoms described.

I'm sorry, Suzie, but your friend is an outright liar. It's absolutely untrue to say that "no-one need suffer at all from any of the symptoms described". Any psych doctor worth his or her salt will tell you otherwise. I'm a living example of this. I take my meds, I don't go off them, and no matter how much they help with most of the symptoms none of them take care of all of the symptoms. (And that's taking multiple prescriptions for the symptoms--not just one.) I've been under psychiatric care for well over 20 years and diagnosed with a bipolar disorder for almost as long. There is NO viable treatment for this disorder that will take care of all the symptoms all the time for everybody. I do realize there are patients with this disorder for whom treatment is much easier and possibly do fall under your friend's description. However, that doesn't even come close to being applied to all of us.

The medications used to treat such disorders are fraught with side-effects that make some of them impossible to use on various (but certainly not all) people. And when a medication does work for a patient, it works differently from one patient to another. The very disorder itself varies so much in symptoms presented from one person to another that it wouldn't even be scientifically possible to be easily treated.

That being said, I do agree that there are viable treatments available even if they don't completely do the trick. (For some of us it's necessary to just take the best we can get and learn to deal with the symptoms that still present themselves from time to time.) Unfortunately, after a period of time they often cease to do the job and need changed as a result. But whether they are working wonders or have ceased to do their job you certainly are correct in saying that we need to continue with our medications.

As Kaleesie mentioned, she is working with her doctor to get the right medication cocktail for her treatment. And that is not such an exact science that it should only take a couple attempts. It quite frequently takes numerous attempts to find just the right drug cocktail for each individual as these are such individualized treatments. And often each attempt can take a period of weeks to show results for the doctor and patient to even know if that particular treatment is going to work. (This is due to the fact that many of these psychotropic medications take weeks to get into the system and start doing their job.)

Again, Suzie, I'm sorry to go on ad nauseum about this. It certainly was not meant as a personal attack against you or your doctor friend. But having dealt with this disorder for so very many years and being under the treatment of a fantastic doc for most of that time I just had to clarify some erroneous statements you made based upon what your friend told you.

[Kaleesie]

Suzie, I understand what you were trying to say, but I'm glad TW explained it, because I could not have put it in better words.
I'm an extreme case. Permanent disability, and they are still trying to find the right " cocktail "
I was hoping someone has any unorthodox, but legal ways of dealing with the anger I feel..

What can I say.. I just was looking for help.
Blessings, and thank you all for trying
Kaleeesie

[TheMagickSprite]

Help, please. If you can.. I'm open to suggestion.

Take up shooting.  (paper/steel targets only please lol).  Really burns down the stress.

BB Sprite