Rant Blog

[Kaleesie]

Dear sleep,
Where are you? I get you only for 1-2 hrs a night? Are you cheating on me? What the hell is the deal? And the nightmares, what's THAT about? I just need a good 5 hrs, uninterrupted.then I won't rant. But you have forced my hand.
Night terrors? REALLY? After everything?  Don't bring those freak shows in my head!

And coping skills, I have a problem with you too. How am I supposed to get over all this crap? You need to integrate yourself within me. (must admit) its probably not you, I was never taught you. So who was supposed to teach me? My mom? My dad?
Bah! Screw this, I'm confusing my own self now!

[Gaiano]

Why do so many people think my lisp is so amusing? Why must they make harsh jokes about!?!?!? I could have made jokes about her giant upper jaw that sticks out and her ugly braces, or his huge acne problem, but I didn't.....I really hope I'm a good person for that or else it's just not worth it! :I

[Kaleesie]

Hello medications,
 Notice I didn't say "dear or greetings" ?
Why must you turn me into this bleeping bleeping crazy person? I mean, I'm nuts already. But no, that's not good enough for you, Saphris and Viibrid. You have made me react in such a way, that my relationship may be over. Yeah, OVER. He asked me to pack up several times yesterday. When I finally called his bluff, being the stubborn person I can be, he backtracked. But who's to say he wont say it again today? Your not out of my system yet!But none of this mess would have ever happened if I hadn't started taking you 2. And on top of that, during my grieving time over my brother?!?!?! How do you honestly expect me to cope? And sleep! That's another thing. So far, I've gotten 1 hr of sleep each night since Jan 25th.  Oh, and gained weight too!
Just wanted you to know, I called the doc. ( that's another rant, but for a different time) he won't be in til Monday, of course, so I will be off my meds again, so I thank you( sarcasm) for screwing my life up. It was pouring rain, thunderstorms,lights went out... Etc, and I couldn't  enjoy it because I was too busy fighting with my fiancé. ( which made it even more dramatic , btw)..
Oh, and while I'm ranting, screw you too, Jody. Go take a long walk off a short peer! Go blab everything you heard to your wife, again, because we all know she got out of hospital not 9 hrs previous for high blood pressure and can really handle this!

Oh, and another thing... When calling someone a mean name, I don't concider saying " your acting like..........._____________! To be any different than saying your a ........._____________! So don't use that lame excuse with me. Your just trying to get out of the mess your mouth put you in!

Eh hem,

That is all.FOR NOW!

[VakuurBairn]

 Starting to warm up a leafs-width, now if only they'd clean the roads I could 'board round town and enjoy the Sky Fathers growing strength!

[youknowme]

I'm so frustrated with the IRS right now. I'm literally getting sick stressing and worrying about my refund every day and night. Checking my status has become obsessive. My deposit date is supposed to be the 7th, but I have this sinking feeling that I may not even see it this month at all....

I'm terrified because my landlord gave me the wrong info when we moved in here last month. She told me i'd only owe half rent for Jan and Feb.... Turns out we owe FULL rent for feb... My husbands hours were cut this past month, so we literally only had just enough for the half rent this month (which we were so thankful it worked out that we'd only have to pay half rent). SO because she informed us incorrectly, i'm scrambling trying to figure out how on earth i'm supposed to poof out an additional $230 dollars out of nowhere. We live paycheck to paycheck down to the PENNY. There's absolutely no way I could squeeze something out, or rearrange our budget. The simple solution; my tax return could help get us back on track!

We were "good". We got our W2 (only one! I don't work) and went straight to Jackson Hewitt and filed. We have no homes, no businesses... Just a husband and wife filing jointly adding a child for the tax credit.... But yet people who filed after us (even people who filed on or before the 26th--- which is supposedly the people who are delayed) have gotten their returns. We didn't commit fraud, there were no offsets or "pending reviews". The IRS rep told us that its been in the funding stage... just waiting to get pushed through... But its been there since just a few days after we filed. We have nothing left to give to keep us afloat... We already pawned our game systems, and we really have nothing else to sell!

I'm terrified, I'm frustrated, I'm angry...

I'm a MORBIDLY obese woman... and I've actually lost my appetite completely... I wake up hungry, but just can't bring myself to eat! All I seem to want to do is drink my iced tea. I'll nibble on some toast, but then feel like I've eaten a 3 course meal and just CANT eat anymore for the day. I don't know whether to be glad that I'm finally NOT eating for a change, or if I should be concerned that all this stress has got to me so strongly. I'm irritable all the time now. I cry at least once a day. I've lost interest in the things I like to do. I've lost motivation to do anything like house chores and such. Its a difficult task to bring myself to be playful with my son... I feel like a failure wife and mother.

I hope that once my refund DOES come in, once I get caught up with rent, and get my car, i'll feel much better. And I hope by letting this out, I'll start to feel a little better too. >.<

[Gaiano]

[DELETED - PROFANITY], someone posted a video on facebook that is supposed to be me, but it's not me. I'm tired of people doing this! I'm to much of an introvert to do something stupid in front of a camera like that. Being a freaking adolescent sucks! Ugh! I hate facebook. This has already happened to my brother, when will freaking bullying end? It feels like I can't escape it because people are doing it online now!

[Cleaner]

                                                                                                     [WARNING ISSUED - PROFANITY]


                                                                          http://www.witchforum.net/forum/index.php/topic,6964.msg311636.html#msg311636


NO PROFANITY - This forum is open to all age groups. Therefore, profanity of any kind will not be tolerated. The use of "I hate #### like this" is also not acceptable. Abbreviations for profanity will be considered profanity themselves.


http://www.witchforum.net/forum/index.php/topic,14.0.html


Cleaner

[Kaleesie]

I just got some disturbing news. Come to find out, my brother in law and fiancé, while driving to Dallas for my brothers funeral, had a nice long chat about me.
On top of this, very unsettling news, we promise d each other, in the beginning of the relationship that if one of us felt like they were falling out of love, or wanting to stray, or not interested, etc in each other anymore, we would say something to each other. Guess what he said to my brother in law... Basically he didn't want to be with me, but didn't want to hurt my feelings. He also thinks my being a witch makes me look like a fool. That there's no such thing in magick. He wants me to leave, but doesn't want to say "leave"... So I'm going to leave, just have to bide my time, get some ducks In a row.
... So, I'm going to bide my time, and move back to Dallas. I'm staying away from personal relationships for a while.

All this was said to me in confidence, so I have to make it seem like its my idea.  
He had even bought wedding rings a few months ago. What a joke. I'm taking mine, though, just to sell it. ... These boots were make for walking!

[LadyStitches]

Running myself so ragged that I've had a recurring cold, on and off for about a month and a half... I start to get better, only to slide backwards

Cubscouts on Tuesday night

Girlscouts on Thursday night

Son cracked his head open on the radiator Thursday night & had to go to the ER for 2 staples to the back of the head

We're in-between insurance.

Cleaned house on Friday (I've been a bit lax on this) because my daughter's teacher was coming over, only to find out an hour after she was supposed to be here that hse couldn't make it because of the roads.  She left the message with my husband.

I'm so tired, but I can't fall asleep at night.

We move in one week

and the only response to my craigslist posting selling my oven is spam.  (10 emails.  Seriously!)

Usually, I tell myself to just breath, but my nose is so stuffed up it's impossible. 

[TheMagickSprite]

Ok first of all YOU.  Why play me so, tell me to take care of you then take it all away, then give it all back?  Why??  What good comes of such things.  Does this really improve your karma?  What exactly do you want?  It changes day to day!  I can't handle it, I want you in my life so bad but you have GOT to take a stand.  Listen to your heart or lose everything!

and YOU.  I love you but make up your mind.  Get off my leg and do it already!  If you want it to happen, DO IT.  Dont sit further longer and mull and plot.  Take a stand.  Life is passing you by and so am I !  I am here for you (again) but should you squander yet another opportunity, I will not hesitate to slam the door.

and YOU.  I understand blood is thicker than me.  Still... why do you raise a child so, to have her plop her arse on the couch all day every day and while I work and help and contribute, and get the boot?  Is that really just and fair?  Is brotherhood dead?  How much have I done for you in the past.  Ask yourself that.  I will not darken you with malaise and contempt, I will simply tip my cap and go find the nearest field to live in if needs be.  Id rather that than cause problems but ahem... learn to parent ok?  Take SOMETHING from this.  You do not over-enable your children.  Do that, you fail to bring them into this terrible world and in a position of helplessness.  True that.

and YOU.  Why do you look so lovely and wantingly and tease me so.  Tempt to waste all that is important for me.  I can't do it, not just yet.  It's up to the THREE ABOVE to decide our fate.

Nuff said, back to my tomb... the mummy sleeeeeeeeps

BB Sprite

[ferox1012]

Why does it have to be soooo darned cold and windy on my one day off when I planned to go fishing?

[Medicinefox]

YOU! Hope all is well. I hate to air dirty laundry on here but I see no other way for you to get the message. I am in hopes that you may see it or a friend may see it and give you the message.

I haven't heard from you or hubby since your hubby came by a few days, nearly a week ago. He said he would call me from school the next day since he said that your phone was shut off. I never heard from him. Please let me know what is going on. I really need my stuff and the money. I have contacted you various times over the past months ( I believe 4-6 months or more) and am told that this would be taken care of when your hubby got his check. I was told that last semester and now this one. I need to know what is going on. If you do not have the money then I need all the stuff back.

If you have given out items to others for them to pay later, which I had asked you not to do then you need to either get the money or the item/items back from them. If you can not get neither from them then you will need to come up with the money. I had also asked at various times what the total amount of all the items were. You never could answer, saying the papers are in another room and you will call me later with the information. It never happened. I hate to assume the worst but it is beginning to feel like you plan on keeping the stuff and money due to all that has been said and done on your part, so far. If you wish to get me off your back then please do whats right and give me my things and the monies promised.

I thought you were my friend and I cared for you and your hubby but it is beginning to not look like you felt the same way. I am beginning to feel that you thought me a sap or whatever and that hurts. Big Time! I trusted you.

Added Here: If you had just been honest and communicated with me, things might have been different but you gave me your word that you would help me and sell some stuff for me. You and your hubby eventually never returned my calls. I understood that you have been ill but you still could have had your hubby call. Communication was the key but as time wore on the excuses became nonstop, then the calls stopped completely. I would call you once or twice every other day or so for weeks on end and you would never return or have your hubby return my calls. You said you wanted some of the stuff and sell the rest I said ok. You later on told me you sold some stuff but the lady wrote a hot check and would be paid on the first of the month. My Gawd! That was last month. From your approximate tally you now owe me about $500.00 - $600.00 from what you sold and what you wanted plus what you have given away but even still you said there was a box or two left that was unsold that I asked you to return so I could sell the rest. You knew I needed this money for the new house! You of all people should know the Law of Three. How can you do this, being who you are? What you are? Your standing in the community?


Ce s-a dat in incredere trebuie sa fie liber s-a intors ce era al meu va fi a mea din nou. Constiinta apoi constiinta ramasite nu vei gasi usurare til chestii meu vine inapoi.



Fox

[Kaleesie]

                                                                                      POST WIPED - WARNING ISSUED: DEROGATORY ATTACK



                                                                                                                  



Cleaner

[treysus]

why do people have to make such ridiculous decisions. to kill three people because your girlfriend broke with you is ridiculous. i cant even comprehend (dont think i spelled that right) what you were thinking when you decided to do this nor what the people who dismissed this as a joke were thinking when they saw this on an open social network. and now i hear people are making threarts during all of this so they could get out school!!!!! you are nearly adults not five year old children so start acting like it. imagine how your family would feel if you were taken away from them. now multiply that by five because unless you've lost someone you loved you could never understand what these families are going through. what goes through the minds of people my age truly amazes me and now i understand why those who are older feel as though they need to guide us.

[Golia]

Why cant you see the things that you do to me? You have me spinning around in circles, one day feeling like im so close to you and the next feeling like we are miles apart. You say that I'm special to you but I dont feel so special anymore. I just feel like someone you pick up every now and then when you get bored and your mom needs some company, too. Some of the things you say break me apart, cause I know they are true but they hurt anyways; and you say them with such nonchalant-ness it makes me wonder why your saying them cause I know you know it hurts me to hear those things. I just dont get you, just when i think i have you all figured out i find out you have another secret, something new about you. Sometimes they are good things, like yesterday when it brought  you to tears when you had to punish your little sister for lying; it tore you up inside. But the rest of it... I dont know if I like it. I've known you since June of last year, and I've met the most of your family and I'll be meeting your sister from out of state in a few days. But I havent met ANY of your friends. You'll be seeing your friend Brit on Sunday, yet in the same sentance you told me this you also told me you were taking me home on Saturday... Why are you so against me meeting your other friends? Are you ashamed of me? Am I good enough to meet your family, but not your friends? You know, I get it, I'm different, and weird, and unconventienal... but so are you. I had you meet all the friends I once had back when I had friends here in this town. I was proud to call you my friend to all of them. I'm trying to understand and I just cant.
I'm nauseous all the time and I know that being nauseus comes with my pain condition, but its also conected with my emotions and since you have me all topsy tervy, its not getting any better. Havent you noticed I havent really been eating? You used to notice so much, now you barely notice anything at all... Gods what did I do wrong over the past few weeks to have such of a change happen?
I've been so alone for so long, and you promised you wouldnt leave me alone, that I would always have you around. I dont feel like your around that much anymore, I feel like I'm losing you.
Yep, this is a rant, didnt know how else to word it.